Sift Through the Mud
by Broken Quill and Scattered Ink
Summary: A glimpse into the marriage Soun Tendo didn't want for his daughter: one of unresolved problems with the other fiancees and stalkers. RanAk
1. Chapter 1

**Sift through the Mud**

**Broken Quill and Scattered Ink**

Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma 1/2.

:…:…:…:

"Ran-chan," she slowly walked towards him, a blush forming. The okonomiyaki chef was being suspicious, suspicious enough that even Ranma had a bad feeling and swallowed up what was left of his food before standing and backing away slowly.

"Now hold on a minute, Ucchan," he warned, backing up until he hit a wall. He shook. "You can't just…I mean…I—I'm married, for crying out loud!"

"But you were forced into marriage with Akane." Ukyo said calmly. "Isn't it me that you love? I'm sick of waiting, Ranma."

And before Ranma could blink, her lips were upon his.

:…:…:…:

"**I'd rather die knowing my killer. Whether he was man, nature's catastrophe, or twisted accident. But oh, to know that I had died because of the heartbreak over the loss of my love…**

…**oh please do not let me know."**

** ~Anonymous**

:…:…:…:

Ranma had always had a knack for bad timing.

Once Ukyo pulled away from him, he turned to see Akane, standing in the Okonomiyaki shop's door way, one hand holding Aoki's, and her other holding the cloth over Ukyo's doorway over and away from her face. A look of pure shock and horror danced in her eyes as her mouth opened slightly, and Ranma couldn't help but think that those lips of hers would be so tasteful as of now—no matter how inappropriate that thought in this situation was.

A murmur began to lull in the air as the crowd of customers in Ukyo's shop waited for Akane's impending wrath to befall the poor pig-tailed boy.

Akane followed her instinct and walked up to him, raising the hand that had just let go of their daughter, readying to slap his cheek. Wordlessly, Ranma closed his eyes but did not move, welcoming the punishment.

_That poor Akane…how she decided to marry that boy is beyond me._

_She shoulda married someone more reliable. Someone of more husband-like material._

His eyes were shut, but Ranma's ears were not. His blood began to boil as he heard the customers looking on were intruding his and Akane's public spat.

When the pain never came, he looked up to see Akane frozen in time, a small whimpering and tug at her skirt. He looked down at Akane's thigh to see his daughter attached to it, tearful and afraid.

"Mommy, please don't hurt Daddy."

At such simple words, Akane let her hand fall limp; her daughter being her only master. Ranma watched in awe at the power Aoki held over his wife. He saw Akane muster the most false smile he had ever seen her sport. Then she knelt, took Aoki into her arms, and picked her up, and abruptly left the shop, breaking the barrier of people at the doorway and letting the murmurs wash over her. The three teardrops that sparkled from her left eye did not go unnoticed. Without thinking twice, Ranma stood from his seat and ran out of the shop, calling his wife's name desperately.

:…:…:…:

"_Akane, wait!" _

She didn't stop to listen. She wouldn't. Couldn't. Not after hearing thousands of excuses before, her heart couldn't take it. So she kept running, calmly telling Aoki "it's going to be alright, Ki-chan" despite the panic she felt rising within herself. She prayed that her speed would save her today, for she never wanted Ranma to see her tears. So she pushed harder and harder, her breaths becoming smaller, quicker.

_Please,_ she thought. _Let me make it home before him. Let me run into my room, lock it, and not see his face for the rest of the night._

So Akane ran forward, with Aoki in her arms, blindly forth in search of their house.

She skidded past people, whispering a hurried "excuse me" every so often, her voice doing nothing to hide the cracking that her tears had created.

:…:…:…:

Ranma had never felt so disoriented. As a martial artist, he should know how to react, when to react; his reflexes that he had trained with all these years were so _useless_ when it came to matters dealing with Akane, even after two years of marriage. Why didn't he train in the Understanding-Akane-In-Every-Second-Of-Her-Life-Martial Arts?

_Heh. That would come into handy. I need to develop that one day._

In his moment of thinking, Ranma ran straight into an angry, cross-armed young man with a yellow and black bandanna wrapped around his forehead.

"Ryoga," the pig-tailed boy muttered reluctantly. "I seriously ain't got time for this today…"

"Ranma!" the lost boy declared loudly, grabbing the collar of Ranma's shirt. "I'm gone for two days—"

"Two weeks, man."

"—and I come back to see Akane-san running through town, crying? Don't you have any sympathy? If I married her, she'd be smiling all the time, with a bouquet of roses in her arms every second of the day!" His grip on Ranma loosened, and a blush formed on his nose. Ryoga stared off into space, daydreaming. "If Akane-san and I were married…" he whispered longingly.

Ranma frowned. And gave him an uppercut straight into the stomach. "Cut that out! You an' her ain't ever gonna get married, got that?"

Recovering quickly, Ryoga put on a straight face. "So what did you do to her this time, Ranma?"

Ranma wiped a hand down his face. "Why's it always gotta be me who does everything wrong?"

Ryoga stared at his rival-friend and crossed his arms. "That's because it always _is_ you who does everything wrong."

Ranma sighed. "Ukyo came onto me, and Akane happened to walk in. At the right exact time Ukyo was k-kissin' me."

"And that's _not _your fault? I would see why Akane is mad…"

"No, that's just it! It was Ukyo that came onto _me_, not the other way around. I didn't start it!"

Ryoga shook his head. "It doesn't matter who started what. Did you try to stop Ukyo?"

Ranma looked shocked. "Whose side are you on, man?"

"Most definitely not yours. Well, did you try to stop her?"

Ranma sat on the concrete below him, his eyes downcast. "I—I couldn't think straight. It all happened so freakin' fast…I…I couldn't react. I just…stayed there." He looked up at his standing friend. "But that don't mean that it was my fault! If Ukyo didn't try anything, nothin' woulda happened—"

Ryoga sat down on his backpack and set his umbrella down. Then, lifted his pointer finger and spoke sagely. "Think of it from Akane's perspective, Ranma."

"What?"

"What if it had been you who walked in on Akane-san, and she was the one kissing someone else?"

Ryoga blushed, wishing the 'someone else' was him for once in his life. Shaking his head free of the selfish thoughts, he looked back and Ranma. A red glow seemed to radiate off of him as the pig-tailed man stared past Ryoga, determination lining his features.

"I'd kill him."

:…:…:…:

"Goodnight, Aoki." Akane tucked her daughter into bed and kissed the crown of her head. "Sleep tight."

"Mommy?" she called out quietly, right as Akane grabbed the doorknob of her door.

"Hm? What is it?"

"Are…are you okay?"

Akane gave her best 'Kasumi' smile, wiping the bit of tears left. "Mhm. I'm fine, Ki-chan. Don't worry. Your father and I are going to be okay."

Her daughter nodded, her black pigtails bouncing cheerfully, then lay down to sleep.

With one last look over her shoulder, Akane stepped out.

When she stepped out of the room, she nearly ran into Ranma's chest. She looked up at him with narrowed eyes, pulling the door behind her shut.

"What do you want?"

Ranma flinched at her tone.

"Akane, we have to talk—"

"All we ever do is talk, Ranma." She whispered, turning towards the guest room. "Good night. I'm going to sleep."

A look of horror filled his face and he felt the bile rose in his throat. He gulped it back down and whispered anxiously: "Where? In there?"

"Yes." She muttered. _Anywhere away from you._

Ranma felt his pigtail animatedly lower. The thought of sleeping alone, having those nightmares of Jusendo, and waking up, not being able to assure that his wife was beside him, racked him of his sanity. He shook his head to rid of the thought and reached his hand out towards her, only to see her already a good five feet away.

"I—you know I can't—I can't….sleep without you, Akane." He choked out, hating the vulnerability in his voice, the admittance of how much he needed her even just to _sleep._

She said nothing as she entered the room. Abandoning all common sense, he followed the wrathful, fuming Akane into the darkness of the room.

"Go away, Ranma."

He knew better than to counter her. He knew better than to disobey her, to make her even angrier. But he wouldn't let her sleep away from him. He _had_ to explain what happened at Ukyo's shop, even if it killed him. Even if _she_ killed him.

"I…I won't. Not until you hear my side of the story, Akane."

"I don't want to hear it. I want to sleep."

He moved towards the bed. "I will sleep with you then."

He saw the outline of her figure jerk upright into sitting position from the bed with a loud: "No!"

Akane scrambled from the bed and nearly rammed him aside, running out the door they had come in.

"Where are you going now?" he couldn't help but feel that it was as if they were children, playing tag. But looking at Akane's stomping figure walk down the hall, he knew that this was not a fun kind of game.

"To our bedroom."

"What?"

She stopped at their door, and without turning to him, placed her hand on the doorknob and whispered brokenly: "You can sleep anywhere you want as long as it's away from me."

"Akane…"

Her name trailed on the air behind him as he followed her to their bedroom. With no plan, and realizing Ryoga's little pep talk did not aid him much at all in what he should do in this situation, Ranma walked into the room with only one thing in mind:

_This wasn't my fault, Akane Saotome. And I'm gonna make sure you understand that._

:…:…:…:

"So…you'd murder the guy kissing Akane?"

Ranma blinked. Twice. "Well, yeah. Of course I'd fight him. It's kinda my thing, Ryoga."

"Well, what I was trying to get at was how Akane felt when she saw you."

"She wants to kill Ukyo?" Ranma scratched his head. "I hope those two leave me out of it."

"Idiot!" Ryoga pulled him to his feet. "Akane feels hurt right now! And it doesn't matter if you think you started it or not, you have to apologize to her! Saotome, go right now and tell her sorry or I'll make you pay!"

:…:…:…:

He grabbed her waist, and with all of his strength, tackled her onto their bed.

_Way to go, Ryoga. _He thought sarcastically. _I already knew I have to apologize to her before I ran into you…_

"Let go of me, Ranma!" She beat his back and struggled to kick his abdomen. He defended himself, nearly pushing all of his weight onto her body so that she could not move.

"I'm not letting you go." He answered calmly, grabbing her wrists and pinning her down, sitting upon her stomach. "If you just listen, there's nothing to be mad about!"

Struggling and squirming, she narrowed her eyes and gritted her teeth at the sight of him. "I hate you!"

Ranma let out a 'tsk,' annoyed with her stubbornness. Why is she so mad over something that wasn't his fault anyways? Why was she always mad? He fought back with the only tactic he knew: making her even angrier.

He leaned forward, a few inches from her face. "I don't care what you say; you're jealous."

"I am _not _jealous, you egotistical jerk!" It was the phrase she said often, but this time, Ranma could almost feel the scorch in her voice. "What you do with Ukyo is none of my business!"

"Then quit bein' mad at me!" He grunted when her knee made contact with his hip. "Ow, Akane!"

"You think that that is going to work on me? You've got it all wrong, Ranma!" She screamed, tugging her wrists and kicking in an attempt to escape. He held on tightly, and, with a small prayer asking for good luck (for his lack of a plan), leaned forward, and pressed a kiss to her lips.

_If I just shut her up, then maybe she'll stay quiet enough to listen…_

She let out a surprised whimper against his lips, then quickly jerked her face to her left, pulling away from him.

"Stop it, Ranma!"

Making sure that he had his hold on her still, he followed her, trying to kiss her again. She jerked to the right, letting out an irked growl from her throat.

"I said to _stop_!"

"You ain't the boss of me." And he leaned down again, following her lips with his own.

"Don't, Ranma, or you'll be sorry!" But by the time she had finished her threat, she felt her husband's soft lips upon her own. Not in a kiss, but just a covering, just sitting on the surface of her lips, afraid to proceed.

The instant she felt his lips brush against hers, Akane couldn't stop the tears from flowing down her cheeks.

…She had never felt so weak, so vulnerable, so ashamed, in her life. She stared at the man she was wedded to above her, his eyes shut tight and his nose against hers, his lips against hers, and a warm breath fanning against her cheek. She suddenly found herself wondering, _when did I start being in love with him this much?_

…_So much that I can't even…can't even threaten him with divorce._

…_No matter what he's done, I don't even have the will to hurt him back._

…_When have I ever allowed a man to have this much control over me?_

Feeling wetness against his own cheek, Ranma, startled, pulled away without a second to spare. Insane panic began to surface in his eyes.

"H-hey, A-Akane, why are you—am I hurting you?" He loosened the grip on her wrists but didn't let go, and rose his hips above her own so that he was no longer pressing his entire weight upon her stomach.

The weird thing was, Akane had no sobbing sounds coming from her lips. Silent tears cascaded down, spilling from her core.

She turned away from him, ashamed. "I'm not hurt."

"_Idiot, Akane feels hurt right now."_

Ranma stared absently, always speechless when it came to her crying.

"_So go and apologize…"_

_Are you really taking things this hard, Akane? _Ranma wondered. _Isn't it obvious that I married you—not Ukyo, or Shampoo, because I…I lov—love—_

And it hit him. Hard. In the two years of marriage, ever since the incident at Jusendo, Ranma never once told Akane out loud how he had felt about her. Even when he had chosen to propose to her, he had nervously shoved the small box with the ring inside and stuttered out "j-just m-m-ma-marry me Akane, and get our dads off of our backs…". Not once had he made it clear that he loved her.

…but didn't he show her his love for her? These two years, he had grown a lot since their engaged years. He was able to hold her hand, kiss her nose when he was done with work, hold her, touch her, in ways he could only dream about when they were engaged.

…was that not obvious enough?

…Did she still think, that after all of these changes he had undergone for her, that they were just 'forced' together?

Her whimpering brought him back to reality. And suddenly, Ryoga's stupid conversation made sense.

…_Akane is hurt. And when she is, so am I. I need to fix her. I need to tell her that I love only her. _

…_I need to fix her. I need to fix myself._

…_I need to be a better husband._

"I'm not crying!" Akane shouted. "Nothing you do hurts me. I don't care. Whatever you choose to do is your choice alone. We came into this marriage knowing that we were forced; we do not relate as husband and wife. I accepted that. And this is what I choose. It's my choice alone."

The tables turned. Ranma felt his heart twitch at that, no longer feeling the pain and panic he had experienced seconds earlier. He frowned. "Are you saying that you don't care at all 'bout our marriage?"

She looked up at him, in all her tearful glory. "None whatsoever."

He grit his teeth.

_Liar. I ain't gonna let you think that we went through all this for nothin'. You're not gonna win this fight, Akane…I'll prove to you that we…that we love each other…that I love you…_

"Then tell me why you're crying when you saw me with Ukyo. Tell me—I dare you—that you don't care about me."

He stared down, challenging her to say what they both knew was a lie. But that didn't stop insecurity to form doubt in him; didn't stop the quivering of his hands that held his wife down beneath him; didn't stop the perspiration from forming to align his brow. It had made sense earlier; Akane felt hurt and betrayed—Ranma understood that. So why is it now that she's acting all tough? And why is everything now unraveling, not making any more sense? Why is it that now he didn't know what was _what _anymore, whether or not she loved him, whether or not she was hurt, whether or not he was being a good husband in the first place?

But he knew one thing for sure. If she doesn't love him…

_Say it…say you don't care…_

With a burning fire lighting her eyes, her tight lips opened, she took in a gulp of air, and screamed her love for him.

_Say that you don't care…and I'll…_

"I don't care one bit about you, Ranma Saotome—!"

…_I'll…_

Ranma pushed out the breath he did not know he was holding, and shut his eyes to stop the sudden burning. His heart finally burst open, an old pain that had been stitched with marriage, only now to reopen and bleed harder than before. He roared her name and fell forward, slamming a kiss onto her open mouth, wishing he had done so a few milliseconds earlier to block out her confession.

_I'll die._

:…:…:…:

A/N: Wah, just something I've been thinking of for a while. I'm making this a 2-3 chaptered one-shot, just to get back into the groove of writing. I haven't written for a while; man does time fly by! But I think I'll only be writing these long one shots for a bit before returning to older fics, since my creativity wears down after writing a story for too long.

I feel as though my writing really has degraded; this piece felt choppy and unclear, but I was unsure how to fix it and did the best I can. I appreciate any deep feedback and/or criticism; an artist's one true desire is to perfect his/her craft. I am grateful for all readers who take the time to tell me what I did wrong and what I did right.

Please R n R! And thanks for stoppin' by. My update will be, at most, 3 weeks from now.


	2. Chapter 2

**Sift Through the Mud**

**Broken Quill and Scattered Ink**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Ranma ½.

**:…:….:…:**

"**It was **_**that**_** moment. The moment the tears began to fall, that I knew I had lost the battle. That the gold trophy was hers to take, the victory badge, the medals…**

…**I don't have the heart, the will, or the ability to fight against my maiden's tears."**

**~Anonymous**

**:…:…:…:**

It was after he pulled away from her. That was when he noticed that he was shaking hard. His body was racking with an uncontrollable quaking, and he was sure that the pinned Akane beneath him could feel every quiver. He looked down at her slowly, afraid what he would see there.

She merely stared back, her lips still drawn tight even after the kiss he had slammed against her now swollen lips.

"I don't care." She repeated, more to convince herself than to Ranma.

He looked away, letting out a sharp breath, trying to compose himself over the pain and panic rising within him.

_She doesn't care. None of this matters to her. _

His mind was stuck in a rut of panic. He had to fix it, somehow, find some glint of hope in this unclarity—

_Akane…doesn't care about me…about us…_

Some miracle allowed one thought to pass through; one explanation for the impossible words—words that had never hurt him this much before—that held all of his misery.

He swung his head to look back at her.

"Liar," he spat out disdainfully, hoping against all odds that this was true; that Akane was lying because she was angry.

Akane only stared back, defiant.

"What? You think I actually _care_ about you?" She nearly scoffed, ignoring the hitch in her throat.

He said nothing, believing her, and not at the same time. His shaking started again, from anger, from pain, from everything at once.

"So that's it, Ranma?" She whispered back, realization lining her eyes. Her soft voice held the force of a thousand fires.

"So that's _what_?"

She blew up. "You just can't stand when a girl tells you that she hates you! You have to have all of them, every single one of them! It doesn't matter that you're already married to one, all of them have to love you; all of them have to want you; all of them have the right to kiss you or do anything they want with you!"

His eyes narrowed. _That's not why…_

"You really think that's the kind of guy I am, Akane?"

"I don't think it, I _know_ it! You've always been that way even when we were engaged!"

A picture of him running around Nerima, finding every possible way to get Shampoo to tell him that she loved him found its way to her mind's eye. Her frustration came out in sound, and a small growl bubbled from her throat.

_Disgusting…I don't want to be anywhere near him! To think I just cried over him, and let him __**kiss**__ me just now…_

…_not that I care one bit._

And like that, her resolve became clear, and she used her pain and sorrow to fuel her anger. It was still a mystery, even to her, how her moods changed so fast right when she needed them to.

The anger helped her instantaneously tug her wrists away from his hold and pushed against his chest, forcing him off of her. She leapt off of their bed, and stomped towards their door.

Ignoring Ranma's yelp, and without turning to face him, she said: "And don't even think about saying that you married me over them. I already know the reason you married me. And it's not what most couples marry for."

"Oh yeah? You think you know me so well, Akane? Try me!" He grabbed her shoulders and forcefully spun her around to face him, pinning her against their closed door.

"I _do_ know!" she yelled back with equal ferocity, ignoring the ring that came from her head hitting the door. "On that day…." She suddenly looked away, and a soft tenderness befell her face.

Ranma released his grip, and pressed his palms flat against the door on either side of her head, distracted by the calmed look that painted Akane's porcelain face.

"On that day, you told me that we'd marry…to get our dads off of our backs. So that we can run away from the pressure."

Ranma felt his heart fall at that. _No, Akane. I married you for a different reason…_

"So you married me to convenience yourself. Now, that we have no dads watching us, or telling you 'treat your wife better, son,' you run around doing whatever you want. Isn't that right, Ranma?"

He snarled. "No; shows how much you know about me."

"Then why the heck did you marry me?"

…_.I….I lo-_

He glanced past her angrily, letting out a frustrated "tch" through his gritted teeth. Ranma hated the fact that his brain never seemed to function at the right time. Mumbling, he said: "Because I…you…you were my f-fiancé,"

He looked at their white-painted door behind his wife's brilliant blue hair, his eyes following the crevices that seemed to curve in never-ending circles. Akane stood silent. Then, a quiet: "Let me go."

At those words, the words that radiated his failure, the words that told him to do more than let her out of this human cage he had held her in against their door; that she wanted him to let her leave him, was more than he could take. Insanity was taking its toll, and he grabbed her forcefully, possessively, and crushed her body against his, wrapping one arm against her waist and another at her upper back, molding her body against his. He ignored her gasp of surprise.

They fit perfectly.

_Why can't she see that?_

"I said to let go, Ranma!" She pushed against his chest, but he held on tighter.

Pathetically, and dizzy from the whirlwind of emotions coming and crashing in waves, he whispered: "I…I can't."

"What? Are you crazy, you idiot? What do you mean you _can't_?"

"I _won't_ let go." He corrected himself firmly. "Where are you gonna go if I do?"

"Away from you!" she yelled into his collar. "I don't want to be anywhere near you! At least when I talk to Ryoga, he listens to me and—"

"Ryoga?" the name was now bitter in his mouth. "Why would you go to Ryoga?" He held her even tighter against him, and now she found it hard to breathe.

"Why do you care?" she tested, not really caring about his answer, but wanting to shout at him.

"I'm not lettin' you go with him."

"Hypocrite!" she pushed him so hard that he fell against the floor, with her standing over him.

"You can go hang out with all of your girl friends, for goodness' sake, you can even kiss them behind my back! But I can't go just to _talk_ with one of my guy friends?"

"What happened at Ukyo's wasn't my fault, Akane!" Using his arms as leverage against the floor, he sprang up with perfected martial arts skill.

"It's never your fault! Everything that happens to you isn't your fault! Even this marriage isn't what you wanted, it's what our dads put us through! Maybe Aoki doesn't even mean anything—"

With a speed Akane could not even see, Ranma was in front of her face again, with an anger across his features that he used to fight against his enemies.

"Don't you even think about it. I love our daughter."

_And you can't say that to me…_

And just like that, her walls crumbled to her feet. She sank down, following it. And for an instant, to hold onto her pride and dignity, she wanted to sit on the floor, pretend to be picking up the pieces, and think that all of this was as fake, as nonexistent, as her invisible barrier.

Sitting down and picking up invisible pieces, looking like some sort of maniac before her husband, would have been much less humiliating than her tears.

But they came without warning.

And the ever-strong Akane was crying again—loud, desperate sobs erupted from her throat and into the palm she held against her lips, as if doing so would block out the _weak_ and _vulnerable _noises.

Ranma stood above her, but did not feel the least bit superior. He stared down wearily at his sobbing wife, watching in silence as she cried from her heart. He traced every part of her with his eyes; from the semi-closed eye lids with the rivers pouring from her chocolate orbs, to the hint of an embarrassed and shamed blush that spread across the bridge of her nose, to the one hand holding her wails, and to the other hand, shaking flat against the wood floor, holding her upright.

He could only watch her, as always, when she cried. He hadn't grown out of that habit yet. And he would never cease to be amazed by her beauty that she created in such sadness.

But her beauty in happiness was so much brighter.

He voiced his thoughts. "S—stop crying, A-Akane," he whispered shakily, afraid of the consequences of his demanding tone. "C'mon. You know I hate it when you cry."

In between sobs and sniffles, she gasped out: "I…I can't stop them," she spoke truthfully, fearfully, unable to gain control of her emotions, unable to find that wall. "…But don't think I'm crying over you, you jerk!"

"Stop…stop it." He slowly sank down before her, reaching out a hand to her shoulder, which she furiously glared in return and shifted away from him. "That's…that's enough. Okay? You can quit cryin' now. I'm…I'm sorry, okay?"

She stared at him, hiccups trailing from her lips. _ I don't want an apology. Those aren't the words I want to hear._

And, shamefully, she hung her head in defeat. Hiccups kept popping out, jolting her body, but she ignored them. Her mind was elsewhere. She knew that he had won this battle, yet again. His apology would work, or as in this case, wouldn't. But they would quickly get over it, as they did when they were teenagers. And in the next day, those emotions of sadness and betrayal—such strong emotions, Akane thought—would get tossed in yesterday's pile of memories.

There's no need for a perfect ending. Akane looked at her husband again, with the worry stretched over his features, his hand still twitching to reach out and touch her to assure her safety. She sighed, breathing in the last of her hiccups. Her anger was gone, as it always was when Ranma showed his concern for her. She snorted at that—at how dainty and girlish she was, to lose all of her anger once Ranma became the Prince Charming the instant she began to cry or get upset with him.

Perhaps it was that she needed to just cry all of this out. Or perhaps it was because she had shouted at him enough; given him what she thought he deserved. But she felt some sort of sunlight smile down on her. Yet there was an ever-present storm behind the sun, reminding her of the failure of this marriage—at least, a failure as _she_ judged it. Ranma still had never told her that he loved her, which was what she had been crying about, which was what this fight was about—it was _never_ about the other fiancées. Never about Ukyo.

She wiped her tears from her eyes and stood, finding her way out, leaving a stunned Ranma on the floor.

"I—I want to check on Aoki." She whispered, feeling a bit better, but still feeling the unresolved problem nag at her. But this would do for now, as it always does. They would start the day anew tomorrow, she would take Aoki to school, and he would teach his students. And they would forget this incident—they would not become further nor nearer, and he would never admit the feelings that she felt so strongly for him since the day they had met as fiancées.

She sighed again, suddenly finding herself at Ki-chan's side, stroking her hair, whispering carefully: "I want you to marry someone who is better than your father, okay, Aoki? Mommy will find someone perfect for you. I promise." And she pressed the promise to the forehead of her princess, then proceeded to kneel at the bedside, laying her head down on the blue mattress, and finally finding sleep away from her husband, away from her problems. Within minutes, she was in dreamland.

She did not know her husband had heard it all. And had no idea that he walked in on her when she was asleep.

Ranma sat beside her, watched his wife breath softly against their daughter's hand. Slowly, he reached out to touch the hair that Akane kept in a low ponytail, the bright blue that had now grown past her shoulders.

He wanted to do things that she would not let him do in this state of anger. He leaned forward, and pressed a kiss to her forehead. Then, finally bolder, kissed her on the lips.

"That's a kiss that counts," he whispered. "not the one with Ukyo. Got that, tomboy?"

When she mumbled in her sleep as a response, he brushed the hair from her eyes and wrapped his arms around her.

"Why are you so stubborn, so blind, so deaf, Akane?" he asked aloud, holding her tighter to him.

**:…:…:…:**

**A/N: **So sorry for the really late update! I was supposed to get this up within three weeks and it ended up being much longer! I won't make promises for the next chapter; you should see it soon, but I won't say how soon. In the meantime, please read and review. The first chapter of my ultimate Ranma ½ fic should be uploaded sooner if not the same time as the last chapter to this elongated one-shot.

Thanks for your support and critiques for the first chapter!

~BQnSI

P.S.- Will most likely edit this chapter not for content, but for writing style in the future. After rereading it and checking for grammar mistakes, I felt that my writing style was not as well thought-out as the first chapter. Thank you for any suggestions on how to perfect my craft.


	3. Chapter 3

**Sift Through the Mud**

**Broken Quill and Scattered Ink**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Ranma ½.

**:…:….:…:**

"**There's that 'calm before the storm' that makes me feel like I am stuck in the middle of a hurricane, with my heartbeat spiraling out of control and my mind at such a level of unease. I believe the wait is harder to take than the actual storm." **

**~Anon.**

**:…:…:…:**

A blinding light kept her from opening her eyes. She squeezed them shut harder, moaning a bit at the disruption of her sleep.

Once she opened them, clearing the hazy vision, she found herself staring at Ranma's sleeping face a mere two centimeters from hers. It took all of her self-control not to scream and push him away from startle.

She distinctly remembered sleeping alone by the side of Ki-chan's bed. _So why in the world is he here? I came to Ki-chan specifically so that I could sleep away from him tonight…_

Akane frowned at him and his stubbornness. It was when she tried to move away from him that she noticed that he had locked both arms tightly around her waist, and that he was sleeping while sitting up, his back rested against their daughter's bed. Akane, on the other hand, had slept the entire night with her hands rested on his chest, and from the cheek impression on the material of his red shirt against his shoulder, she guessed that her head had rested there.

She hated him. Why did he always act like this, so husband-like, when she was angry with him?

…Of course, the answer was obvious. It was the only way Ranma knew how to apologize to her.

And her attitude from the night before was the same. She didn't want his apology. She wanted to know his feelings for her. Two years was enough of a wait.

**:…:…:…:**

It was not as she expected. Instead of things going to normal…it was clear that they …

"Your meal is on the table. I'm going to take Ki-chan to school." Akane wouldn't—couldn't look at him right now.

Turning on her heel, she took Ki-chan's hand and started walking briskly out the door. It was when she was tugging her daughter, and found resistance, that she turned to look at the little girl a few feet behind her. With a frown, Aoki announced: "I need to say goodbye to Daddy."

Thrown off-guard, Akane took a few seconds until she finally nodded.

Their little girl ran up to Ranma, who mustered up a small smile and got to his knees, arms open wide for her. With a giggle, she locked her arms around his neck, and Ranma quickly picked her up with ease. He walked over next to his wife by the door, and after planting a kiss on Ki-chan's cheek, he settled her down.

"Bye, Daddy!" She shouted gleefully, sitting down to put on her shoes.

"Bye," Ranma was standing fully straight, his eyes locked on Akane's slightly angered ones. It was clear who he was talking to.

Ranma cleared his throat. With the little confidence from the eye contact Akane was giving him, he mumbled.

"I already gave Ki-chan her goodbye kiss," he looked past her. "…so, bye, Akane."

He leaned forward, a blush covering his features, to give her one on the cheek. At the slow, nervous pace he was using, it was easy for her to step away from him, leaving him lip-locking with air.

"Good-bye, Ranma. Your first class starts at 8.30 today. Do not be late. I will be home around lunchtime, today. I'll see you then."

And with that, she left dragging Aoki by the arm and walked off to school.

Ranma grunted. He was annoyed, but relieved. They were not as tense and hateful as yesterday; today, the patterns fell back into place. It was like it was when Akane was angry; she would ignore him or give him a few words, and never return any affection.

But he could handle that. It was much better than dealing with her when she was crying.

The images of her sobbing uncontrollably, both when he had pinned her atop of their bed and when she sat on the floor, haunted his memory. He took in a deep breath; he knew that she was hurting. It was a pain that was stronger than when she had caught him with Ukyo or Shampoo or Kodachi the many times before—what had made _this_ time so different?

And, like all of their other fights, he was to blame. He had apologized, but she was still angry, as always.

_"Then why the heck did you marry me?"_

"_You married me to convenience yourself…"_

_Not once had he ever told her that he loved her. And it had been two years of marriage._

_Did she think…that they were forced together? That none of this mattered?_

His mind flitted through the thoughts and words of their fight. And he groaned. He already knew what he had to say.

For once, he knew what Akane wanted. He knew that she felt inferior to the other girls. She was always trying so hard to move up to their standards for the past two years, and he had done nothing to reassure her that they had no fight against her. At this thought, he clenched his fist.

"But I married _her!_ And I chose _her!_ No one else!" he told himself in a harsh whisper.

And they were married, he thought logically. Why was it so wrong for him to tell her how much he loved her? Why was it so hard for him?

He knew why. He had always known. He was not used to it. He had never told anyone those three words, and whenever it counted most, he still couldn't say it. Even when he had Akane, dying in his arms, with his shirt covering her, when her _life_ was ending, he couldn't say it out loud. No matter how much he meant it.

He knew what he wanted to tell her. He knew that two years was a long enough wait.

**:…:…:…:**

The days following were unbearable.

The noontimes, which both Ranma and Akane came back to the house for lunch, were quiet. She would set food that she ordered from restaurants on their table, sit, and merely eat. It was Ranma, who was sweating while eating, who started conversation.

"How was today, Akane?" he asked cheerfully, adding a smile for effect.

She didn't look up from her food. "Fine."

He brightened. She was still answering and talking to him—things were slowly coming back to normal.

"Really?" He asked, a little too interested. "What did you do with Dr. Tofu?"

"Helped patients."

He frowned. She knew he hated one-two worded answers. Grunting and mumbling, he went back to his food. And conversation ceased for the rest of lunchtime.

Dinner was the same, except they had Aoki chattering about her day, which put Akane into all smiles. And seeing her happy, although not speaking directly to him, kept Ranma in a good mood.

**:…:…:…:**

Nights were worse.

Akane slept on her side of their bed, but kept her back turned towards him. Once he turned off the lamp at his side, and after asking for a few blessings, he nervously inched towards her. After every few seconds, he scooted closer to her. He repeated this until his arm came in contact with her back. Akane grunted moodily. Then, she would scoot so that she was not touching him.

He continued the same pattern as before, until he was able to touch her again. Ranma knew he was asking for a fight, but guilt was quickly eating at him. Once a thought of her crying the day before ran into his mind, he wanted to hold her and apologize.

He touched her a second time. She scooted again. This time, she added a verbal warning. "Stop it, Ranma."

He gulped. "I'm sorry, Akane."

She pulled her covers higher. "It's fine. Just don't scoot anymore. There's no more room on my side."

"No," he turned his head to face her, and stared at the back of her head. He began to count her dark blue tresses. "I meant, I'm sorry for what happened yesterday. You're still mad. I can tell."

"I'm not mad." She whispered, and he noticed her arm tensing, and the sound of the sheets ruffling. He didn't have to peek over her shoulder to know that she was bunching her side of the sheet. He also knew that she needed to bunch something—to unclench and clench her fist—whenever she was angry.

"Are too," he answered back. Despite its childish tone, he was never more serious. "You are mad. But I'm tellin' ya, that kiss meant nothin'—"

"You still let it happen," she whispered back, rushed and harsh. Then, a sigh floated afterwards. "But forget it. It doesn't matter. Good-night."

And his nights ended that way for that week.

**:…:…:…:**

It was a nonverbal contract that they eat together. Just like when they walked to school when engaged—it was something they did together everyday. Both knew to keep their ends of the contract, and waited for each other on the days they were late just so they could walk together. Even the days they had fights, Ranma still found it worthy to wait for his fiancé.

Lunch, when married, was the same. He expected her to sit and eat with him, even if, as in the past few days, it was in silence.

The next few days, he found her eating quickly and leaving, making the excuse that Dr. Tofu wanted to see her right away today.

The next day after, she left his food on the table for him with a note: "Ranma, I left for work early."

The day after, it was just food. No note.

Ranma was sure that his frown lines would become a permanent part of his face. His mood quickly became one that created bad fortune for those who crossed his path. It was especially his afternoon students that had to suffer his wrath.

**:…:…:…:**

"No, no _no_," he grumbled for the third time in the same ten minutes, Yuki noted. "That just ain't right, Yuki."

"Yes, sensei?" the 10 year old boy asked innocently, pulling his punch back to his side and standing respectfully to the pigtailed martial artist. Yuki heard him sigh.

"You gotta put more strength into it!" Ranma threw a punch, demonstrating. "And from the hips. If you ain't gonna do it from the hips, then mind as well give up now."

Teary, the young student bowed. "I'm sorry, sensei!"

"Ah…forget it. Class dismissed for today. You guys better come better prepared to fight tomorrow."

The class quickly scrambled out before they got another lecture from their teacher. Yuki threw his sensei a quick glance over his shoulder. This was the third day in a row that Ranma had cancelled class this early.

**:…:…:…:**

Lunchtime one day, she was there.

"Oh, you're eating at home today?" he commented, a bit of annoyance, but more relief, tainting his tone.

"Yes. But I have to run off to fax some things for Dr. Tofu."

When she stood, he reached out to grab her arm. She stopped, surprised. She did not know Ranma was surprised, even with himself.

Keeping his gaze on his plate, he explained: "Eat with me today."

The insistence in his tone flew over her head. Instantly, she answered: "I _have_ to go, Ranma."

Her expressed _need _to leave him behind was more than he could bear.

"You were gone all last week!" he complained, gruffness entering his voice. "What, you fallin' in love with Dr. Tofu all over again?"

She countered quickly, spinning to glare at him. "Of course not. Don't be stupid."

He felt familiarity in their fight kill the tension of the previous week. It felt good. He continued it.

"You're right. Like Dr. Tofu would ever see anything in a mule-faced chick like you."

She glared at him, then, as though controlling her anger, she closed her eyes. She let out a sigh, as though frustrated with a child. Ranma tightened his grip absently, wanting a reaction.

But she merely answered: "When he has Kasumi, I would never do anything to interrupt their happiness." She tugged her hand away from his. "I should go."

He felt his face drop all of its snide, all of the insults died on his brain. Why was she not angry at his insult? Desperate, he stood, the squeak in his chair against their wood floor clear and audible. He reached for her hand again.

"Wait, Akane…" his voice softened, a contrast to his insults before; a method he rarely used on her. "I…I…"

_I've missed you._

"What is it, Ranma?" she asked, a frown on her face. "you're gonna make me late."

He released her wrist, watching the floor. "Nevermind. I'll see you tonight."

With a nod, Akane left him behind.

**:…:…:…:**

A/N: Several people have noticed that with Aoki, I made her a bit too "mature" or just "spoke too well" for her age. I must say, that after reading those comments, I laughed out loud at my mistake. Thank you, my dear readers, for pointing that out! And although I tried to change it in this chapter a little bit, please try not to take this fact in too deeply. Although I absolutely hate saying this about a character, I must say this about Aoki—she's a very, very, _very_ minor character. As a writer, I believe that every character should have their spot on the stage, no matter how minor, but because this is a very short one-shot (and the point of it being getting me to brush up on my writing and get back into the flow of ), I probably will not do anything too drastic to change what I want Aoki to say, or how she says it. I hope this doesn't come off as too much of a problem—my other fics will be less careless in facts like these, I promise.

But thanks again for pointing out my mistakes, you keen readers!

I have 1 chapter written for my college-bound-Ranma-cast fic, entitled "On the Ears of Deaf Stars"…may change the title as I move along with this fic. The first chapter doesn't feel meaty enough, but sort of a brief introduction. So I'm trying to add a bit more onto it before I upload it.

I also have another idea in mind, and I think it's going to be a darker spin on the Ranma-verse, in probably a world that doesn't make sense. But I'll tell more about that one on my profile as the first and second chapter get started. Check out my profile for updates.

Also, to keep my writing in swing, I'll be trying to write one-shots soon. Please keep checking my profile for any fic updates, as most of them will be with Ranma ½.

As always, thanks for reading!

~BQnSI


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